Five Tips For The First Date

It’s difficult to make an authentic connection with a stranger unless you have a natural chemistry, but if it feels right for both of you, sparks can fly. Conversely, although it’s sometimes love at first sight, a gradually developing integration of sizzling banter and sparkling repartee might also win the day. For some, online dating websites are a tempting avenue packed with potential possibilities.

If you do try them, make sure that the dating service you employ gives you like-minded matches. Look for a site that matches all of your kooky personality quirks. If you decide on using something that only capitalizes on your all-day adoration for Hello Kitty, then you could paint yourself into a corner. Instead, share all of your interests in your online profile. Don’t have any misgivings. Be utterly misgivingless.

Oh, and do not misrepresent yourself online. If you state that you’re five years younger than you really are, or you purposefully use out-of-date photos from your “thinner era”, then you’re lying about yourself. No one wants to be on the receiving end of fraudulent trickery, or catfished by improper untruthiness. The same goes for your prospective date. If they pretend that they’ve got an awesome job or a crazy, celebrity-filed lifestyle and that’s really not the case, then you’re going to feel pretty cheated by their deceit. When creating your profile, be sincere, and trade in nothing but honesty. Tell it like it really is.

If you’ve tried a spot of online dating and are meeting up with a suitor for your first date, you might like to keep in mind these four instructional tips on first date etiquette.

Tip 1:

On a first date, choose a neat balance of seriousness and fun. Don’t be too humorless but, equally, don’t come across exclusively interested in lightweight, throwaway subjects. It’s important to keep conversation positive and enjoyable. An upbeat natter about your personal passions will ALWAYS be preferable to The Big Three Taboos, e.g. religion, politics and past relationships (the latter is the biggest no-no, because it signals to your date that you’ve not got over the previous partner).

Tip 2:

Don’t be afraid to start up a meaningful conversation. If you’ve met on a serious dating website, the chances are that the pair of you are looking for something real. Compelling questions about your career, the most important things in your life or plans for the future, are a necessary part of getting to know someone better. Let the chatting flow naturally, and don’t forget to listen. Busying yourself by continually thinking of the next conversation topic makes you seem either rude, easily distracted, or scarcely interested in what they have to say. If possible, keep the talking/listening ratio to a symmetrical 50/50 split if possible.

Tip 3:

General modern etiquette proclaims that whoever proposes the date will pay, but this should probably be talked about beforehand, so as to cease any potential faux pas blunderings. Men traditionally pay for dinner, but won’t mind if the girl wants to pay for the second meet-up: If you make him feel at ease on the first date, he’ll be open to letting you pay the next time.

Tip 4:

Act confident and self-assured, and display positive and encouraging body language. Make eye contact, smile, and lean in when talking. If there’s an attraction and you want to meet up again, don’t be shy and play hard to get. Playing pretend-uninterested is genuinely tiresome, so go ahead and ask for a second date. Something bold but controlled like “I had a really nice time with you tonight, and I’d like to see you again” is entirely appropriate. If you get rejected, take it like an adult and move on; there’s no use dwelling, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Tip 5:

DO NOT get drunk. Most people know that drinking too much can lead to awkward displays of idiocy. An anxious or worried mind can become a weak mush, and a few alcoholic beverages can appear to be a good idea at the time. However, getting wasted is an impractical quick-fix that might combat the nervous nerves, but you won’t emerge funnier or more charismatic; you’ll appear insecure and boorish. Don’t hide behind a flurry of hastily-ordered glasses of wine or a few beers that encourage such mortifyingly humiliating behavior. Avoiding that will avoid that.

Hopefully some of these words of wisdom might help some readers!

How To Avoid Getting Catfished

Online dating has become increasingly popular within the last 10 years. There are all types of dating websites online for all types of people. Many people feel that the draw of going out and finding a good person with genuine intent of falling in love just isn’t the same anymore. It is said that online dating cuts having to make trips to the bar and club scene in half; making the losers out there easier to avoid. What’s even better is that you can do it right from the comfort of your own home in your PJ’s. There are thousands and thousands of people who sign up to do online dating every week. It doesn’t matter if it’s through Facebook, Twitter, or Match.com. Many feel that the chances of them meeting that special someone is going to be pretty high because everybody’s doing it. Now whether or not everyone gets the results that they’re looking for, remains to be seen in more ways than one. Enters Catfish. A “catfish” is a person who creates fake profiles online and pretends to be someone they are not by using someone else’s pictures and information. These “catfish” use dating and social media sites, usually with the intention of getting other people or a person to fall in love with them. It is one of the ugly sides of the online dating equation that is often leftout. MTV now has a docu-series dedicated to this unfortunate side of online dating.

By now, everyone in America knows about the heartbreaking and inspirational story of Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o and his dead girlfriend was a hoax. People have become attached to the story because they want to know whether or not he was in on the hoax. They are also wondering how could a superstar college football player get duped into falling in love with someone who didn’t exist in the first place?

Now anyone who has read my articles in the past, knows by now that I am totally against online dating. I find it to be a form of escapist entertainment that encourages people to withdraw from the reality that surrounds them. It’s lazy, passive, and the fact that you have to be tied to a computer to do it makes it even more disturbing. For those that enjoy the idea of finding happiness and love online, there are ways to avoid becoming a victim of Catfish and the tips below should help.

  • Schedule A Meeting – Facetime is the number one rule in any form of dating. Scheduling a face-to-face meeting should always be the first rule of thumb with online dating. It helps you to establish a form of trust, and you are able to communicate a lot better. If your online partner makes up excuses as to why they can’t meet. It is likely due to reasons they are ashamed, or something they don’t want you to see and find out about them. Move on!
  • Never Reveal Personal Information – While it’s tempting to share every detail of your life with a person you think you could be in love with, do not ever give anyone you meet online personal information about yourself. This is at least until you have met them face-to-face and have established some form of an offline relationship.
  • Background Checks – You do not need to be a member of law enforcement to do a virtual background check on a potential suitor. The online search engines work very well so never be afraid to use it. Upload their photo on tineye.com. This will allow you to see where on the Internet the photo has appeared. People who catfish often tend to use a photo they’ve swiped from the Facebook or Instagram page of someone else.
  • Watch for Language – There are a lot of scammers out there using online dating websites to lure people into sending them money. Many of those who commit these crimes are from West Africa and the former Soviet republics. If their command of the English language is fuzzy, but they are claiming to be a native citizen of your country, it should raise a a red flag. The person is likely up to no good.
  • Never Send Anyone Money!
  • Never Agree to Purchase Anything Online For Someone and Send it to Them!
  • Know Your Personnel – It’s one of my favorite sports terms used most often in the NBA. You should always be aware of the strengths and weaknesses of those around you; be it a teammate, co-worker, colleague, friend, and especially someone claiming to be in love with you. If a person’s emails, messenger chats, phone calls, etc. don’t seem to be following earlier conversations or contradict things that were already said, it is likely that your online lover is following a certain seductive script.

No one wants to think they could be taken advantage by an internet dating scam, and yet hundreds of thousands of people are every single year. There is nothing wrong with wanting to find love and happiness with someone. There are many people who have formed successful relationships after meeting online, however, Catfish scams are real. It’s better to be prepared and recognize when someone is trying to take advantage of you.

Cyber Crooks Go “Phishing”

“Phishing,” the latest craze among online evil-doers, has nothing to do with sitting at the end of a dock on a sunny afternoon dangling a worm to entice hungry catfish.

But, if you take their bait, this new breed of online con artist will hook you, reel you in, and take you for every dollar you have… or worse.

“Phishing” describes a combination of techniques used by cyber crooks to bait people into giving up sensitive personal data such as credit card numbers, social security numbers, bank account numbers, dates of birth and more.

Their techniques work so well that, according to FraudWatchInternational.com [http://FraudWatchInternational.com], “phishing” rates as the fastest growing scam on the Internet.

Here’s the basic pattern for a “phishing” scam…

You receive a very official email that appears to originate from a legitimate source, such as a bank, eBay, PayPal, a major retailer, or some other well known entity.

In the email it tells you that something bad is about to happen unless you act quickly.

Typically it tells you that your account is about to get closed, that someone appears to have stolen your identity, or even that someone opened a fraudulent account using your name.

In order to help straighten everything out, you need to click a link in the email and provide some basic account information so they can verify your identity and then give you additional details so you can help get everything cleared up.

Once you give up your information… it’s all over but the crying!

After getting your information, these cyber-bandits can empty your bank accounts, deplete your PayPal accounts, run up your credit card balances, open new credit accounts, assume your identity and much worse.

An especially disturbing new variation of this scam specifically targets online business owners and affiliate marketers.

In this con, the scammer’s email informs you that they’ve just sent $1,219.43 (or a similar big but believable amount) in affiliate commissions to you via PayPal.

They need you to log into your PayPal account to verify receipt of the money and then email them back to confirm you got it.

Since you’re so excited at the possibility of an unexpected pay day, you click the link to go to PayPal, log in, and BANG! They have your PayPal login information and can empty your account.

This new “phishing” style scam works extremely well for 2 basic reasons.

First, by exploiting your sense of urgency created by fear or greed, crooks get you to click the link and give them your information without thinking.

Second, the scammers use a variety of cloaking and spoofing techniques to make their emails and websites appear totally legitimate, making it extremely hard to spot a fake website, especially when they’ve first whipped you into an emotional frenzy.

The good news, however, is that you can protect yourself relatively easily against this type of cyber-crime with basic software and common sense.

Most of these scams get delivered to you via Spam (unsolicited email), so a good spam blocker will cut down on many of them even making it to your inbox.

If you receive an email that looks legitimate and you want to respond, Stop – Wait – Think!

Verify all phone numbers with a physical phone book or online phone directory like w

Look for spelling and grammatical errors that make it look like someone who doesn’t speak English or your native language very well wrote it.

Never click the link provided in the email, but go directly to the website by typing in the main address of the site yourself (paypall).

Forward the email to the main email address of the website or call the customer service number on the main website you typed in yourself and ask if it is in fact legitimate.

Above all remember this:

Your bank, credit card company, PayPal, eBay and anyone else you deal with online already knows your account number, username, password or any other account specific information.

They don’t need to email you for ANY reason to ask you to confirm your information — so NEVER respond to email requests for your account or personal details.